Giving Gia a shower

On occasion, I am set with the task of taking a shower, and bringing Gia into the shower as well. I've decided that the best way to accomplish this task is to ignore any protests she might have, get her naked, and put her into the tub while try and adjust the water between burning her and freezing her. After that has been settled, I hop in and tell her that I'm going to wash her first, then when she's done, she can hang out and enjoy the steam; while standing as far away from me as possible. However, as with any plan you try to make with children, there are always issues.

While washing her hair, I have to do all kinds of special maneuvers to keep her eyes closed, and block any water from going over her face. If I don't, then she acts like I'm water boarding her and it really slows down the process. It's nearly impossible to wash anything above her chin, and everything else is like washing a little mannequin. She doesn't actively fight me, but instead just stands there and makes me position her so I can clean her. Zero help at all. It is just a bunch of, "lift up this leg so I can wash this foot. No, the other leg. No, like this." Then I just end up moving her leg into the position I need. Repeat for every one of her 2000 parts.

After about 70 minutes, I finish washing her and I tell her to move to the back of the tub so I can make the water hotter and wash myself. See, by the time I get into the shower, I'm so dirty that I feel bad for the bottom of the tub for having to contact my filth; so you can imagine that I'm not really enthused at her refusal to move to the back of the tub because she wants to sit in the little pool of water directly underneath me. The conversation usually goes like this: "Gia, you need to stand up and go to the back of the tub so I can take my shower."
"But then I don't get the water. I want the water."
"Okay, then I'll spray the water back there. See? Now the water is back there. Gia, stand up. Now move to the back. Further. Further. Gia, get all the way back there, where the water is."
"Dad what's that?"
"It's nothing, don't look at me. Turn around."
"I see your booooooty!"
"Stop looking at me! Turn around!"

Repeat this conversation about every 30 seconds and you have an idea of how the shower goes.
So between her little passive resistance technique while I'm washing her, and her refusal to stand up and move to the back of the tub, today I told her that she is like showering with Rosa Parks.