Skate park

So I've been watching these kids and taking them to the skate park after school. I went to my parents house and dug out my little brother's old skate board to use while I'm there. So today, after their mom picked them up, I went back to the skate park by myself and a little kid told me that I looked "exactly like that dude from Law Abiding Citizen." Turns out he was talking about Gerard Butler.

What is the point of this rambling post you might ask? I need to get a damn job already.

On a Gia related note, Gloria watched this vampire movie called Daybreakers the other day. It has some human sized mutant bat things in it. So now when Gia wants to wear a dress 24 hours a day or some other ridiculous baby thing, Gloria tells her that she can't wear her dress or the bats will take her. Some nonsense like that. Well, whenever Gloria mentions the bats, Gia just does what Gloria says and there is no trouble. One day I thought I'd try my hand at using the bats and told Gia that I was going to lock her outside in the dark with the flying bats. She cried really hard and wouldn't talk to me for an hour. I guess I over did it.

Lastly, I cut myself shaving and didn't realize I had a bunch of blood on my neck. Gia asked me, "Dad, did the flying bats do that to you?"

Observations from Gia

Like all babies, Gia is a constant fountain of unique observation. I'll try to update this as I think of more. Here are some examples of Gia's observations on:

A mermaid: "Haha! That girl has clams on her boobies."

Using me bum as a pillow, just after a toot slipped out: "You stink dad. You need to take a shower."

A road kill deer: "That horse has blood in its mouth." (It was quite bloated from being dead for a few days)

Squirrels: "Dad look! There are two squirrels. One on the branch, and one on the ground."
"Oh I see them...shall we shoot them?"
"Yes!"

Any time someone selects Yoshi on Mario Kart: "Look Dad, it's me! Don't play me, that's my guy!"

On the Cichlid eating a grasshopper: "He bit him in half! That's not very nice."

On Pillow Pets: "Dad, I was thinking that I want a Bat Pillow Pet."

Anytime she see's my rifle: "Don't shoot the girl deers dad."

The time I shaved my goatee: "What happened to you face daddy? Did it fall off?"

Charlotte's Web: "Dad, I was watching that pig movie, and there is a spider that catches flies and gets their blood. She loves blood."

Gia tells her first joke.

So I've been watching these two boys that are 7 and 8 years old. The 8 year old told me a knock knock joke yesterday. It went like this:


Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Cry.

Cry who?

Fuck you, CRY!


I explained to him how that isn't even a joke. I'm an experienced joke teller, and that doesn't qualify as a joke.
Next I told him the Rude Interrupting Cow knock knock joke, and I thought he was going to pee his little pants he laughed so hard. It goes like this:

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Rude Interrupting Cow."

"Rude Interrupting-

"MOOOOOO!"


So, Gia was sitting in the car with us and heard some knock knock jokes. Last night as we were all laying down to go to sleep, Gia said, "Hey dad, knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Ducky! Quack Quack!"

We are very proud of Gia and her first joke. We hope she doesn't pick up the other kid's joke and start telling people that one.