When I was finished taking the pictures of my Devil Fetus pumpkin, I put it outside on the porch so it was stay cold and keep longer. It had been eaten by squirrels by the very next day. Glad I took the pictures of the best pumpkin I'll ever carve.
During the pumpkin carving, Gloria and I were chattering back and forth. At one point I called Gloria a Fag, and without missing a beat, Gia looked at me and said, "What do you mean Daddy?" I didn't realize she was paying attention and was caught so completely by surprise that I was speechless. The only thing I could say was, "I.....am not going to tell you. I'll tell you when you're older." This story is one of those things where it was only funny to those who are there, but I'd like to remember it.
Two days later, Gia and I were home alone and were on our way out the door to pick up Gloria. When we opened the door to go outside, our cat was in a full stretch on the front porch; licking his balls. I "tsk'd" and told Gia to tell the cat to stop licking his balls. Right away she yelled, "Snowball! Stop licking your balls! (Pause) My dad doesn't lick his balls." I almost wished there was someone just getting out of their car in the parking lot to witness that one.
